Losing Friends

A few of you have been asking me about Tyrell, so I’m going to tell you what I know.

First, he met a guy and followed him out of state. Yeah, quit school and took off. I was so angry at him for the longest time. I mean, I know love can make you do crazy things and true love’s always worth doing the crazy things. Except Tyrell wasn’t in love because he told me so; he followed the guy because he had money — at least I assume that because he didn’t up and say that, but he mentioned money several times.

Second, I haven’t been able to reach Tyrell for a few months now. Emails are delivered, but his phone number has been canceled. I don’t know if he ever read my messages and I don’t know if he stopped paying his cell phone bill for some bad reason or just got a new carrier. He never gave me an address, even though I asked for one.

So he’s gone. My anger’s disappeared and now I’m just sad that my friend is lost to me. I really liked him. We had a lot of fun together, and I definitely liked being his coming-out mentor. I just don’t know what happened.

Was he scared? He’d been cut off from his family after coming out, but he was doing really well by the time he skipped town. Great grades, a part-time job, student housing, a boyfriend… And I’m trying really hard not to hate that guy like he was the reason Tyrell’s disappeared. I never got to know him that well, but he seemed decent enough and like he was really smitten with Tyrell. But maybe Tyrell thought he needed someone who could take care of him?

It makes me look at my own life. I mean, I’m not cut off from family, but I can’t go back to Grams since she’s shacked up with Edgar. I could crash at my dad’s place, but that would be tight in a one-bedroom efficiency. There are others who would take me in now too. I’m not working and my paintings and book don’t earn me enough to live off of, at least not for very long. I’ve had a flash panic of what I’d go through if I lost Jazz for some devastating reason. It’s a really scary bunch of thoughts and I could see where Tyrell might have had some of those and caved to them. He didn’t have a Jazz, but he had a guy with a fat wallet… It might’ve seemed like the right choice.

I miss my friend and I wish he’d talked to me more about what he was going through.